What you become is far more important than what you get. What you get will be influenced by what you become.
-Jim Robn
Essential Ingredient #3
Life Lesson # 5 Empower Yourself for Success
Until You Value Yourself…Don’t Expect Anyone Else To.
The above statement is true but the act itself holds so many of us back. I can’t begin to tell you the number of clients that come into my office complaining about how their clients treat them. Their customers complain about their rates, don’t pay their bills but expect to be first on the list for service, disrespect company policies, and want the farm for free. The amazing thing is that not only do they give them what they want they do it in such a way that screams their worth is below that of their clients.
It’s a tough lesson. You may think you are in a tug a war with your values and that by placing the importance on your company and your own needs you are not holding true to who you are and the values you hold. Well if that is the way you think I would like you to challenge it.
Let’s first remind ourselves of why we “work”; to support ourselves and our families. To be able to enjoy some of the wonderful things the world has to offer and to be able to help others, and share our good fortune.
Now ask yourself and be honest, if you needed to hire someone to do what you do would you expect them to do it for free? Personally I wouldn’t, I would expect to pay someone well not only for the service I offer but for the extra mile I am willing to go for my clients. For the investment I am willing to make in helping them achieve their goals I certainly would be willing to and expect to pay someone else very well.
Ok now ask yourself; if your daughter or son, husband or wife, friend or relative came to you and said that their clients treated them in the fore mentioned manner what advice would you give them? My guess is you would not tell them to keep working for free and I am almost certain you would not tell them that they should just grin and bear it, after all who can survive like that and how happy could they possibly be?
So if you wouldn’t advise anyone else to do business that way and “put up” with that treatment/behavior from their clients why on earth would you? Now if you begin to get a little defensive and start to think “the customer is always right” I am going to let you in on a little secret…NO they are not. Sometimes they are wrong and sometimes they are testing the waters and we are not doing them or us any good by allowing it to continue.
I was a customer service manager for many years and I used to tell my employees that “the customer is always right, even when they are wrong” then I would teach them how to address the ‘wrong” customers without insulting them or devaluing the services we provided. I was very good at what I did and my customers knew it, I had more than one customer say thank you for knowing how to say no to them without actually ever using the word. They told me it made them feel like I was on their side, even when I couldn’t give them what they wanted I would find an answer that would work for both them and the company…I would find the “win win”. I realized that great customer service did not have to come at the expense of the company, and that the company values, reputation and stability did not have suffer at the hand of the client. I also learned that just as every sock does not fit every foot, every client does not fit every company. Sometimes letting go is more in tune with your values than allowing behavior to continue that in the long run will not benefit anyone.
Most books about financial success tell us to pay ourselves first. However most small business owners (and people in general) do not, in fact we take a back seat to everyone and everything. What message are we sending ourselves by doing this? How long can we support ourselves and our families on nothing? Now before you get too upset let me just say I understand. I have worked for myself for a long time and am guilty of not paying myself first. That changes today.
This lesson was a wakeup call, a reminder. I’m not saying that you need to pay yourself a huge salary, I’m saying whatever the amount is pay yourself first. First value your service, your work, your company, if you don’t why would anyone else? Second once your company gets paid pay yourself first. Decide on a set amount or percent per job, per week or even per month (start small if you must but start). Learn to value you and what you have to offer and others will also. Give yourself increases as business increases and incentives as you would an employee that was showing steady improvement, constant effort. Treat yourself as you want to be treated. If you can’t be good to yourself how can you expect someone else to?
So by now you may be asking yourself what all of this has to do with the Law of Attraction, the simple explanation is that if you do not think, believe and act as if you value yourself and the work you do (and I do not mean in an arrogant self absorbed way) how are you going to attract people or clients into your life who feel that way. If the vibrations you send out into the universe surrounding your clients are mainly negative then you are telling the universe to send more of the same your way. It may not be want you want but it is what you are telling the universe to deliver.
Don’t compromise yourself. You are all you’ve got.
Betty Ford
Our thoughts are an extremely powerful tool. They can help us achieve greatness or assist us in staying stuck in a life that is less than fulfilling. Think about a goal that you have struggled with and continue to struggle with. Now think about the thoughts you have surrounding your relationship with that goal. As you reflect back what type of thoughts stand out; negative or positive? What are your current thoughts on a new attempt at achieving that goal? Listen carefully to what the “unspoken” voices inside your head are saying. Are they negative? Are you condemning yourself before you begin? Are you hearing all the reasons you will fail? Are you preparing all the excuses you will use if things don’t work out? If you answered yes do yourself and me a big favor DON”T BEAT YOURSELF UP FOR IT. Acknowledge and accept responsibility, this will give you power, power to change it.
Close your eyes and take a deep breath, because once you realize that you have the power to change your thoughts, to quiet the negative gremlin inside your head you are on your way to finally achieving the goal that has avoided you as well as accomplishing anything that you set your mind, heart and effort to.
Reminder: All exercises come directly from the book Life Lessons for Mastering the Law of Attraction: 7 Essential Ingredients for Living a Prosperous Life
Exercise 1
Learn to recognize the gremlin for what it is: a thief that stifles creativity, hinders success, and paralyzes growth. Begin to listen carefully for that voice and cut it off before its effects can take root. Here are some ideas:
1. Wear a rubber band on your wrist for a month and giving yourself a “zing’ whenever you hear that gremlin beginning to discourage you. Talk about a reminder! We’d rather zing the gremlin than ourselves any day!
2. Surround yourself with positive, happy people who do not allow gremlins to steal their successes. First, it becomes very difficult to continuously hear about positive things without some of your own to add. You’ll start looking for ways to join the crowd. Second, the more you are around positive thoughts, the more real they become, and the more you attract the same back to you.
3. Recall the times when you successfully combated your gremlin and let those instances serve as your road map. Write about these times in your prosperity journal. Writing things down allows you to explore feelings, thoughts, and circumstances that surrounded the experience. Details that are typically glossed over when focusing on the big picture can be extremely beneficial when later explored. Knowing that you have what it takes to face any challenge and overcome any obstacle is just the thing to bolster your confidence and self-esteem—two of the things that gremlins seem to sap out of their victims. Don’t be a victim any longer; be a victor.
So are you ready to step up to the challenge? We know you can do it! Learning how to silence your gremlins is a tool that will be beneficial for life. Isn’t it time to empower yourself and position yourself to succeed at all you set out to accomplish? Yes, yes, and yes!
Tomorrow: Essential Ingredient #4
Inspired Actions
Life Lesson #1 First Things First
Until Then, Smile Often
Barbara
LifeTude
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